We’ve all been there—you walk into a room, and you can feel the stress in the air. The tension is almost tangible, and before you know it, your mood has shifted, your energy has dropped, and you’re overwhelmed, even though none of the stress was yours to begin with. That’s secondhand stress at work, and as a leader, it can hit you harder than you think.
Simply observing someone who is stressed can make you stressed, too. According to research, witnessing stress in others can trigger your own stress response. This means that even if you’ve got your own life and leadership in order, your environment can drag you down if you’re not practising secondhand stress management.
But, just because secondhand stress is real doesn’t mean you have to let it take over. So, how can you protect yourself, keep your cool, and lead without letting the stress of others derail you?
What Is Secondhand Stress?
Let’s start by defining it. Secondhand stress is exactly what it sounds like: stress that you pick up from the people around you, even if their problems aren’t your problems. As leaders, we’re often in environments where people are looking to us for solutions. When stress levels rise, it’s easy to absorb that energy without even realising it.
Think of it like this—stress is contagious. When someone in your team or your household is anxious, that tension can spread like wildfire if you’re not careful. And in today’s fast-paced work environments, this kind of stress can quietly build up over time.
The Cost of Secondhand Stress
Here’s the thing: secondhand stress isn’t just an inconvenience. It can lead to burnout, poor decision-making, and a serious drop in your productivity. According to Harvard Business Review, just witnessing someone else’s stress can affect your brain in the same way as if you were experiencing the stress firsthand.
Now, if you’re a leader from an underrepresented background, you already know that you’re dealing with a lot. You’re navigating systemic challenges, breaking through glass ceilings, and carrying the weight of expectation—not only from your team but from the larger world. Add secondhand stress to the mix, and it becomes a recipe for exhaustion.
Why Secondhand Stress Management is Essential for Effective Leadership
The good news? You don’t have to let secondhand stress run your life. Here are a few strategies to help you shield yourself and stay strong in your leadership role:
1. Set Emotional Boundaries
As a leader, it’s easy to want to absorb everyone’s problems and stress. But let’s be real—you’re not a therapist, and it’s not your job to carry the emotional load of everyone on your team. Set clear boundaries around what you’re willing to take on emotionally. Protect your own mental and emotional energy by creating a space where stress can be released but not absorbed.
2. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a game-changer when it comes to secondhand stress management. It’s about being present, aware, and not letting yourself get swept up in the chaos around you. Incorporating mindfulness techniques into your daily routine can help you stay grounded, no matter what’s going on around you.
3. Work with a Coach
Coaching isn’t just about reaching your career goals—it’s also about staying mentally and emotionally resilient. A coach can provide you with the tools you need to navigate stress, help you develop strategies to stay focused, and ensure that you’re putting your energy into what really matters. Think of it as a way to keep yourself sharp and effective, even when the stress of others threatens to pull you down.
4. Prioritise Self-Care
Let’s stop pretending that self-care is a luxury—it’s a necessity. If you’re constantly pouring from an empty cup, you’re going to run out of steam fast. Make time for rest, exercise, hobbies, or whatever fills your cup. The more you take care of yourself, the more immune you’ll be to secondhand stress. Remember, you can’t be the leader you need to be if you’re running on empty.
5. Encourage a Healthier Culture
Lastly, as a leader, you have the power to create a culture that minimises stress. Encourage open communication, promote wellness initiatives, and be proactive about creating an environment where people feel supported. The less stressed your team is, the less secondhand stress you’ll have to deal with.
Take Action
Secondhand stress is real, but it doesn’t have to define your leadership journey. You have the power to set boundaries, protect your energy, and create a work culture that promotes well-being. By staying mindful, practising self-care, and investing in coaching, you can rise above the stress and lead with confidence and clarity.
If you’re ready to take control of your stress and lead with resilience, let’s work together. Sign up for my coaching services today, and let’s build a strategy that empowers you to thrive, no matter what stress comes your way.
Source: Harvard Business Review
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